I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
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