if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
