I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
