its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
