I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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