At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
