Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
