it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
