I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
