I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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