my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
