she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
