I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize