Sober January is a disaster.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
