Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize