bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The convent might be a nice break from real life
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
