I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
