She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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