I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
