I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
