It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize