You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
