i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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