If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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