She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
