Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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