You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
