how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
