so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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