I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
