I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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