Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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