with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize