I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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