My friends, they love my intelligence
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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