I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
