we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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