we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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