my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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