for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There r osticjed everywhere
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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