Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
