and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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