Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
