i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
this boner is exhausting
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
