i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sundayâ€
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