Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
