you guys were way drunker than both of me
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
