I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My dick has a subreddit
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
