It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
