Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize