you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
