the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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