I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
