you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
