Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
