Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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