All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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