If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
