Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
COCAINE IS GR8
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
